level27chick04

Today is my birthday. Yes I know right? Umm....no. It's only like 2 am, but I know today is just gonna suck eggs.

First off, I am 20 years old now. Yay.

Second, my grandma might go to the hospital today. DNW THAT TODAY OR EVER AGAIN.

Third. I've had a horrible month so far. I honestly wish I could go back and erase this month.


I MIGHT GO SEE NEW MOON TOMMORROW OR SATURDAY. FECK YES.

Between the buried and
me there lies a body
the body that once hurt
me in more ways than one

Now you're gone
and so is the pain.
I loved you until
the first time you
hit me now I killed
myself to get it through
to you.

Now I'm gone too
and we're together
and now I hit you

I'm alone in the dark

I'm afraid and lonely

Why did you leave me

here all alone

I thought you cared

I really did

Now, look at me

covered in blood

I'm dying

and nobody cares

Why did you

leave me

Why did you

say that you

didn't care

Now I'm dead

alone in the dark

Nobody came

to the funeral

I knew

nobody cared

for a motha fuckin llama!

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama <thats the best thing ever lol

i get my wisdom teeth out today =]
 

My grandma is having a hip replacement. April 20th I'm not so excited because she could die, but the doctor that she is going to go get it done with recently did the same surgery on a 92 year old woman and she made it through. I hope everything goes well.

And the 20th of this month I'm getting my wisdom teeth cut out.

FML.

I FINALLY HAVE BLUE SUCKERS!!!! FUCK YES!!!!!!!!
 

You know the Fall Out Boy trail? Yeah, I'm thinking about just giving up on it. I've playing it about 20 times the farthest I've made it is Phoenix.

And today is one of the best days I've had in a while :)

If anyone wants to chat.

AIM - Simpleplanluv04

Yahoo - Ashleylover04@yahoo.com 
 

xoxo,
Katie :)

i think im addicted to twitter

follow me if you wanna

www.twitter.com/level27chick04

yeah im bored nobody talks to me anymore.

i have no life.

but oh well.

yeah it really does..i really hope i don't start cutting again. I've gotten the worst urges to cut but I've ignored them. Why do I feel like I'm on the outside looking in and watching everything crumble around me even though i know i can sometimes help it? I hate living i need to go somewhere for a long time and just reinvent myself.

I hate my best friends aunt she pretty much stopped paying the fucking bills and now they have no phone so i have nobody to talk to. she didn't pay the internet bill or anything for her i fucking hate her right now even though she might be moving to hunstsville, alabama with her boyfriend she might take janet (my bestie) with her. and i fucking hate that i might actually kill myself if that happens becuase if she does that i will have NOBODY NO ONE AT ALL.

My poetry sucks...well I think it does but its whatever.


I'm sitting here

thinking about you

Why did you have to leave?

Now, I'm sitting in my room

thinking about what we were

As I cut into my flesh

I hear your voice telling

me to stop

Your to late I had

already cut my vein

You find me covered in blood

you take me to the hospital they

say I won't live through the night

You come in the room

you tell me you love me

as my soul comes out of my

body i say "I love you too"

Now I'm gone

and everyone is sad

And I'm sorry
 

here is another poem for everyone...


Hey,

This is what I have to say
I hate this life I call my own
I hate the people in this world I
live in
I hate YOU too

But can I thank you
for taking care of me
and loving me

I'm sorry for the
bad things I did
and all the bad
things I said

I'M SORRY

^^I think this is the perfect suicide note^^

I feel...

I feel like I'm dead on the inside and
on the outside I'm being pulled by my
strings to feel like I'm alive.
I've heard life is what you make of it
but what happends when you have
nothing to make of it?

I feel like life is a book
Should I just kill myself now?
Or should I try to make it to the
end of the book?

I feel like life is useless
and a waste of time
should I try to make it or
just die now and make
everyone around me happier and die.

I've heard life is what you
make of it, but what if you
have nothing to make it with.

Can you help me find something to
make it with?

Do you think it is possible to find a job within a week?

Because if I don't I am going to get kicked out of my house and everything.

Just because I'm not wanting to go back to this college by my house....

I think it is seriously a bunch of bull.

I miss being happy. I can't really remember a time I was truly happy after the age of six. That was before my uncle died. I loved him with all my heart I still have not gotten over it same with my grandma she is grieving herself to death.

I have came so close to ripping my skin open with my razor or knife. I really don't care if I die or not nobody would care. I might just take my bottle of sleeping pills so I will never wake up and maybe then I'll be happy.

I miss being happy..

I hate the fact that I can never do anything right or make anyone happy. Everytime I try to do something for someone of myself I get screamed at and verbally abused over it. I hate myself. I wish I would just have died a few years ago when I had the stomach virus (they said if my mom didn't take me to the hospital when she did I would probably have died) I seriously should stop eating. I'm a fucking fat ass pig that has nothing to live for and I don't think anyone will ever care about me.

Hey,

I know nobody reads my journals so it's like whatever. I feel like pure and total shit I mean yeah I have to go to college tommorrow well like today. I should be in bed but who cares if I fall asleep at the wheel and wreak my car and die........I thought so nobody.

Well, life hasn't been going good for me first I'm always getting bitched at about everything by everybody. Second, I might have to get rid of one of my cats because he's being stupid and peeing everywhere I know it sucks and he's already been neutered or whatever..

39 days till Panic At The Disco ftw!!

or however may days until November 4th.... 


 

yea in 54 days in going to be in Atlanta, Georgia watching Panic at the Disco....and I'm offically going to college i know what a bummer right? i mean like there is nothing really special about college. Motlow sucks cock...I am so bored I have class in about 6 hours....no wait about 7 hours but i have to wake up in 6 lol im so fucking retarded I hate life...I mean I hate saying it but I'm sick of my parents and everyone controlling my fucking life...I need to get outta here....no more happy Katie well Katie was never happy lol..I need a boyfriend, I already have a guy in mind but I'm not saying any names lol.

Panic at the Disco in 54 days ftw!!

I start college Monday...I am not looking forward to it....

OMFG!! I am going to go see Panic At The Disco on November 4th on the Rockband Live Tour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (hopefully)

I have just been getting more and more suicidal lately and I don't think I can stand life anymore...

I wish I was dead...

I'm so happy....kinda well I'm happy for that....my dad is being such an asshole...

Mirrors is the creepist movie I've seen in a while....I'm hopefully gonna start writing a fic soon with my best friend..

I think its gonna be an m-preg. I think that the slash is kinda like JWalk gets the rest of Panic preggers and shiz like that...does that sound cool or no?

I'm graduating...yep, I get to walk....I thought I wouldn' t though..I just have to go to summer school...I can't wait till tomorrow.....(well later today..) I have to be at school at 9:30 a.m. to practice then I have to go back at 6 for the actual thing..I'm so nervous....

i hate having a writers block....and I have never wrote a story before and i really want to but the only thing i think i write ok is poetry...

I hate this place i call home there is nothing to do. My parents won't lemme out of the house. This goddamn place makes me more and more depressed and suicidal and my medication isn't really working anymore i hope i die in my sleep tonight.

and on top of that I'm really bored....

Hey,

I'm new and I really don't know anybody. I just wanted people to know who I was....I'm Katie and I am 18 and I love music....add me on myspace www.myspace.com/level27chick04 thanks much